sansa and jaime - truth
by SpiritFeather19524
Summary: Sansa was not a stupid girl, no matter what act she put on for the court. Jaime had been absent for the last week after that brief talk, coming to bed after she had retired and leaving before she was awake. She knew there was someone else.
1. truth

I don't own a song of ice and fire or the characters, only this story.

first a song of ice and fire story, let me know what you think. THERE IS SWEARING!

also please comment and tell me if i should continue

I've heard some rumors  
About another girl  
I heard she's cute  
But she stores nuts like a squirrel  
And that's all cool  
I'll wait right here  
'Til you get bored  
And she gets carded for beer

I'm the one  
I'm just that slick  
You won't find better  
I'm honey dipped  
There ain't a thing  
That's fake on me  
I miss you baby  
Come home to me

Are you hiding in the closet?  
Are you underneath the bed?  
Did you go for a long walk off a short pier?  
How come you're not here?  
Should I worry you've been bitten?  
Or somebody got you high?  
Quick come back  
Or I might just die  
How come you're not here?

Has anyone seen?  
Has anyone seen?  
Has anyone seen why he's hiding from me?

Sansa looked glumly out the window as she heard Jaime move around in their chambers. She knew that this marriage wasn't wanted by either of them but Jaime at least seem to take it in good graces, well, better graces then her at least. In the three years of marriage Sansa found herself opening up, little by little to him, she tried not to but there was something about him, and she just found herself trusting him.

Jaime walked over and sat down next to her, tucking away a stray hair with his good hand, smiling at his beautiful wife, humming to himself.

"What is on your mind my feisty wife?" She could hear the smile in his voice and she just closed her eyes. Dear gods, why oh why did he have to be so charming?

"Nothing Jaime," she replied leaning against the window, "just finding it amusing everyone seems to think it's a good idea to leave me, the last known surviving Stark alone so often."

"Well no one has ever said the Lannister servants were overly bright."

"You shouldn't be mean to them Jaime, they are good people, better than most of the Lords and Ladies I have to interact with."

"And do tell me wife who are the good ones you interact with?"

Sansa remained quiet, eyes still shut, forehead pressed to the window.

"I just wish we could be honest with one another, truly honest," she finally sighed, still refusing to look at him.

"I am honest with you Sansa."

"No, you're not. I know when you're lying Husband, you are not very good at hiding things from me of all people."

Jaime cupped her chin and moved her head so it faced him, but she stubbornly kept her eyes closed.

"I know I did not come into this marriage willing my wolf but neither did you," he reminded her, "but I have grown to love you, you know that right?"

Sansa opened her eyes then. ""I know but I'm not the only one that you love." She hopped up then, wiping a single tear from her cheek. "Come husband, it is late and we have the feast tomorrow to celebrate three years of marriage."

Jaime followed his young wife to bed, but he could not help but think of that single tear and how it made him feel like someone was stabbing him in the heart.

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Sansa was not a stupid girl, no matter what act she put on for the court. Jaime had been absent for the last week after that brief talk, coming to bed after she had retired and leaving before she was awake. She knew he would have slept in his own chambers but she helped keep most of his nightmares at bay and he did the same for her.

She knew there was someone else, though she refused to believe the rumours that he was Cersei's lover (she might admit it made a lot of sense to herself, alone in bed at night however). She never considered herself a jealous person bus she was filled with jealous at the thought of anyone else with him, burning hatred mixing in with the jealousy when she thought of him with Cersei.

After so many years together she wondered, late at night what was her place in Jaime's life? Would she ever even affect his life in some way with his sister there, holding on to him? The discord between the twins since her marriage gave her hope that she immediately stomped down on, it did no good to bet against a Lannister, especially the former Queen who looked at Sansa with hatred every time she entered a room on Jaime's arm (or just generally entered a room).

Sansa hoped that as this mad, power hungry Cersei grew more and more ruthless Jaime might see his sister for who she truly is but she doubted it. She couldn't bring herself to leave Jaime however, she loved him and she felt, that no matter the age gap between them they were better suited then Jaime and Cersei could ever be.

She decided to take a walk, not knowing where she was heading but just needing to get out of her chambers for a moment. She thought about heading to the gardens but at this time of day the ladies of the court like to sit in the gardens and gossip and she had no interest in joining them. She found herself walking near Jaime's chambers and without thinking opened the outer door before closing it and running away.

Jaime and Cersei kissing. Jamie and Cersei touching, half naked ran through her head. She had to get out of King's Landing straight away.

Not aware of what she was doing Sansa showed all the clothes that would be good for travel into her bad, along with two daggers Jaime had given her as a wedding present. Automatically she made her way to Brienne's room, where Sansa stumbled across Ser Bronn as well. Without saying a word Bronn left, coming back shortly with his own bag of clothes as Brienne finished packing her own bag.

Sneaking into the kitchen Bronn filled two more bags with food before they made their way to the stable.

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Jaime felt a chill pass through him as he kissed Cersei and thought he heard the door open, he turned to look but the door was close but the chill didn't leave him, so gently he pushed Cersei away.

"This isn't right anymore," he said, running his good hand through his hair in frustration. "I can't keep doing this Cersei."

"Because of your Stark whore?!" She spat out at him, anger marring her face.

"What about all you little whores in the King's guard?" He shot back at her. "Before I was married I was only ever with you but you can't say that can you? They talk the King's guard do, though I only realised it was you they were talking about after my marriage. They told me you said never to mention you by name as I might take offense to what they were saying as you were my sister and all but you just wanted more people in you web. You couldn't get Robert in it so his guards would be fine enough."

"You know I have only loved you," she hissed, standing there in shook.

"No you have only loved yourself sister. You have fooled yourself for years into thinking you love me but I was nothing but a tool in you fight to be on the top but I am no longer your tool sister," Jaime tidied up his clothing but before leaving he paused at the door.

"I have loved you my whole life sister, but it was not real. I have that with Sansa and you have that with yourself."


	2. breathe

I don't own game of thrones or the characters.

 **.**

 **.**

 _ **.**_

 _ **Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,**_

 _ **It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see,**_

 _ **Now I don't know what to be without you around.**_

 _ **And we know it's never simple, never easy.**_

 _ **Never a clean break, no one here to save me.**_

 _ **You're the only thing I know like the back of my**_

 _ **Hand,**_

 _ **And I can't breathe without you**_

 _ **But I have to**_

 _ **Breathe without you**_

 _ **But I have to**_

 _ **Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.**_

 _ **Every bump in the road I tried to swerve.**_

 _ **People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work**_

 _ **Out,**_

 _ **Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.**_

Many times Sansa would bring herself to wonder what would happen if she were to reclaimed Winterfell. Would she be just like her father? Would she be fair like him? Would she be a leader like Robb and Jon? Or would she go crazy on power like Cersei? Or grow lazy like King Robert? Sansa knew in her heart she would be a good ruler but she knew at the moment she was lacking something. _Jaime_ her heart whispers but she shuts down the voice quickly.

She looked at the letter in her hand before she placed it back gently in the little bag she had with her. In the bag were six more letters, all from her husband and all said the same thing. Come back. I love you. I am sorry. She knew in her heart Jaime would have no idea why she left but she had a funny feeling that Brienne or Bronn would have left Jaime a note telling him they were headed to the Tully's castle.

"Sansa would it be too terrible to write him back, tell him what made you run away?" Brienne had asked when she had received the letter that morning, to which Sansa replied yes and walked away before anyone could talk to her more.

This was something that seemed to drag her down but she had none to talk to, to saver her from her own thoughts. If Jaime was here he would kiss her gently then take her riding, or for a walk, or show her secret places in King's Landing to distract her but Jaime wasn't there. Without Jaime there to support her Sansa felt like all the air had been sucked out of her body but she had to fight, she had to keep moving, not think about what Jaime and that whore.

Sansa placed a hand on her stomach and rubbed it gently.

"I am so sorry little one that this is happening but don't be worried my love because no matter what I will love and protect you and be honest to you always my baby. Boy or girl you are my only family now and I will love you now till the day I die."

Sansa once more glanced at the letters and sighed. She and Jaime fit right into those tragic love songs she had loved so much growing up but she didn't want that. She didn't want anyone to know the reason for her leaving because no matter how betrayed she felt Jaime was her husband, her lover, the father of her child and she loved him with all her heart. She knew when she realised she loved him this was not going to be easy but she never expected it to be this hard.

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Jaime glared at his messenger as they practically run out of the door carrying another letter to his wife.

Five weeks he had been without her and he missed her something terribly. He didn't realise how much he relied on Sansa to calm him, help him focus and sooth him when his nightmare jerked him awake from sleep. He didn't realise that he would be just a shell of himself without her, she had taken the best of him and left him nothing, not even a simple not in return.

His fist gripped the notes he had found in Brienne's and Bronn's rooms.

 _You are an idiot. I don't know what she saw but I know what a broken heart looks like. Fix this._ Jaime snorted as he read Brienne note again and through he didn't want to believe it he knew Sansa had seen him and his whore of a sister together.

 _Fix this. She is the only good thing you have in your life._ Jaime looked at Bronn's note and knew he was right. Sansa was too pure for him but she was his and Jaime loved her more than anything, more than he ever loved Cersei whom he saw, just before his wedding was leading him astray and had been for years.

That day was a mistake Jaime knew that. Cersei had come into his room and basically assaulted him with her mouth. Jaime was lost for a moment then, forgetting what she did to him and kissed her back while she managed to loosen her dress so it slipped and fell to her waist.

Jaime knew it was wrong and he pushed her aside when he thought the door had opened the closed, which he knew now happened but the damage had been done. Since the day he married Sansa he had stayed faithful to her, not even kissing Cersei on the cheek but that one moment of weakness had ruined everything for him and he knew gave Sansa the truth of the rumours about him and his sister.

Jaime had never felt ashamed of his love for his sister until the week before his wedding when he would her screwing a member of the King's guard and then learned only an hour later she had been screwing members of the King's guard for years, since she became Queen in fact.

Looking around his empty room Jaime decided to do something about this and started packing his bags just as Tyrion entered the room, who upon seeing his brother packing, smiled.

"So you are finally getting off your arse and going after you wife," he said smiling joyfully.

Jaime glared at him. "You were the person to warn me not to when she first left."

"Yes that was because we had no idea where she was going but when we found out you did nothing to go and get her then."

Jaime looked away for a moment. "I was afraid to face her and see that hatred in her eyes," he confessed softly.

"And are you less afraid now?"

"No, but I can't go on without her brother, I feel like there is this gigantic hole in me that only she can fix. I miss my wife and I am going to her and beg her forgiveness."

"It will take a while," Tyrin warned and Jaime nodded.

"I know but she is worth it."

"Well brother you will need company on your journey so I best come so you don't screw this up anymore."

Jaime smiled at his brother. "You have so little faith in me brother."

"I have a lot of faith in you brother but I know how you can be at times and I'm sure your lovely wife will need with a face a lot more handsome than yours to talk to."

Jaime walked over to his brother and hugged him.

"Thank you for this."

"Anytime, you would do it for me."

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Jaime sighed as the Tully castle came in to view. It had been a long ride thanks to the blasted weather but finally he was there.

Steadily he dismounted before turning to help Tyrin down just as Edmure Tully ran out to greet them.

"I wish to see my wife," Jaime said before the poor man could open his mouth.

"Ah yes, um about that. You see The Lady Sansa rode off four weeks ago," he said nervously.

"Where to?" Jaime growled out.

"To, to retake her home. To retake Winterfell."

Jaime swore. "Was Brienne and Bronn with her?"

"Yes my Lord and a large army. She will have no trouble taking Winterfell back."

"I know and that's what worries me."

Without looking at the man Jaime hopped back on his horse as Tyrin made one the soldiers help him on his.

"We ride to Winterfell," Jaime yelled and without another word rode right out of the gate.


	3. winterfell

_**Author note – ok hi everyone now I need your opinion on this story. I was originally only going to make this a 5 chapter story but I have plot bunnies jumping around in my head so here is what I need you to do, would you like me to finish with only 5 chapters or continue on and see where this goes?**_

 _ **I don't own game of throne/ a song of ice and fire**_

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

Sansa looked at Winterfell and felt her back stiffing in determination. Winterfell was **her** home and she would not let anyone take it from her again.

"We can do this right Sansa?" Rickon asked at her side, looking up at her nervously. It had been a surprise to run into him and Jon almost a day's ride from Winterfell. There had been a great deal of tears between the three siblings as they rejoiced at being reunited when all three felt sure for a long time they would not be. (Jon revealed to Sansa it had been close with him. He had died, betrayed by the watch but somehow a wilding brought him back to life which cause Jon to say his vow had been fulfilled, only to run into Rickon as he left the wall).

"We can, we have the whole North on our side little brother," she smiled at him.

The moment the northerners heard Sansa Stark was retaking Winterfell they swarmed to her and Jon of course had his own sway over the wildings who had come to help him.

Sansa lead Rickon to his tent to rest after it was late and she knew he would need to be well rested for when they took Winterfell back in the morning.

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Taking Winterfell had not been easy by any means, Sansa almost losing her brothers' again; Jon's life being saved by a Wilding who took an arrow to the heart that was meant for Jon, and Rickon to an spy in a camp, thankfully he managed to move out of the way, only sustaining a deep cut to the arm before Bronn killed the man.

Looking around Sansa couldn't believe she was back in Winterfell. She and Jon walked around, just in disbelief that they were back. Winterfell was in ruins but it was still their home.

"If she was here she would be itching to start work," Jon smiled, as they stopped at Arya's door. The only area to not be affected were the main rooms, the dining room, cellars and dungeons, everywhere else showed the wear and tear of war.

"She wouldn't be talking to us," Sansa smiled back, "because we didn't let her fight aside you so she would be ignoring us both, trying to sneak away to go help out somewhere she shouldn't be working."

"True," Jon nodded his head in agreement before they made their way back to Rickon.

Out of the corner of his eye Jon watched his sister. She had grown a lot since he last saw her, gotten harder and more wary but she still had her gentleness about her, through it had been dulled a bit. She had confessed to him last night about what she suffered in the palace and how she had been forced to marry Jaime and how the rumours were true about Jaime and the Queen.

He comforted her as she cried about what she saw in Jaime's room and how she was three months pregnant but how could she and her child go back to living a lie. Jon kept quiet, allowing her to get it off her chest but he promised himself when he got hold of Jaime Lannister they would be having some words.

Together the two siblings walked out into the yard where the men were moving the dead. Without talking about it both siblings agree to give the men a few days rest before getting stuck back into fixing up Winterfell.

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Two week's had pasted since they had taken over Winterfell and already it started to feel like home. Sansa had the women work hard on cleaning where ever was safe inside the castle and cleaning the courtyard while Jon had the men building and burying the dead. Rickon helped out Jon as much as he could but couldn't keep up with his brother so the three worked out a system, Rickon would work with Sansa one day and Jon the next so he wouldn't wear himself out. Being hunted like he was and moving about with Bran (until he took off with that weird man) had taken a toll on his young body and Sansa and Jon worried about pushing him to hard.

The night they took Winterfell Sansa sat her brothers down. As the only living male heir Rickon was Lord but Sansa wanted to make sure he was up to it. Rickon was very firm about the fact he did not want to be Lord of Winterfell, one of them should be in charge not him, which brought on another discussion Jon or Sansa? Both knew Jon was more than capable of running Winterfell and running it well but as a bastard had no right to Winterfell but neither did Sansa while a male heir still lived.

After much discussion it was decided out of the three of them Sansa was the best choice and both Jon and Rickon would stand with her when they announced she would be Lady of Winterfell.

To the relief of all three of them no one was upset at the news Sansa would be Lady of Winterfell while Jon and Rickon would be her advisers. They saw the logic in her being Lady of Winterfell instead of having Rickon as lord. Sansa was showed by her mother to run a house hold and she had many of the attributes of her father that made him a good Lord.

Sansa walked around her parent's room, setting it up while she had some spare time on her hands. She had moved in as soon as they told everyone she would be Lady of Winterfell, setting up the room with some of Bran's and Robb's favourite books they had managed to find, along with a few tapestry's her mother had done and even three Arya had completed (Sansa was sure they were the only three her sister ever did) and some of her father's pictures from his study.

Moving across the room Sansa smiled as she poured herself a glass of water. She took a sip out of it only for it to drop out of her hand as a weight set on her shoulders and somehow she knew Jaime had just walked into Winterfell.


	4. reunion

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark

Finally I can see you crystal clear

Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare

See how I'll leave, with every piece of you

Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand

And you played it to the beat

Sansa turned around leaving the cup on the floor as she made her way to the gate, Jon, Rickon, Brienne and Bronn all keeping quiet behind her and the silence was she need to know she was right, Jaime here.

She stopped however a good ten meters away from the gate when her husband turned to face her and her hand automatically went to her stomach.

"Jaime," she breathed out, right as Jaime walked over to her and stopped right in front of her.

"Sansa, my love," he said quietly and before he could say anything, Jon had moved Sansa to the side and punched Jaime in the face, twice.

"That was for my father and the second one was for my sister," he growled out.

Before Jaime could react Tyrion started to clap. "Well," he drawled out as they all turned to look at him, "I don't know what to do now, do I be proud my young wolf friend has grown up to a man who dares to stand against a Lannister, offended that he hit my dear big brother or be equal parts proud and offended? Hmm I believe I shall take the third option."

Sansa smiled and moved past Jaime and Jon to hug her brother in law after he was helped off his horse.

"I have missed you brother," she smiled as he hug her back gently.

"And I have missed you dear sister," Tyrion smiled back at her. "This place is much changed from my last visit here."

Sansa looked over her shoulder at Winterfell and turned back to look at him sadly. "It had changed a great deal sadly but Rickon, Jon and I have plans to rebuild it to as much of its former glory as we can with some improvements of course."

Tyrion raised his eyebrows in surprise, he never thought he would see a day where a Stark would admit that Winterfell could use some improvements let alone three Starks.

"And what improvements might you be making?" He asked as the rest of the Lannister guards they had brought with them got off their horses.

"Well Jon and I were talking about how difficult it was for you in some places and since I hope you might spend some time here every now and again we thought it best to make sure you had easy time getting around."

Tyrion nodded his head in thanks, touched at their thoughtfulness, as Sansa looked over at Jon and shared a look with him.

"We have some developments occur in the short time we have been here that we must take in to consideration and we need to make sure the wolves can move about easily along with some minor things we all noticed as children."

Looking on Jaime could not help but thinking that taking back Winterfell and taking control over themselves for once had done the three young Starks well and looking at Sansa he felt proud at how his wife handled this all.

"Wait," Jon said softly to Sansa as she motioned to take Tyrion inside. "Do we know if the men are trustworthy?"

"They are," Jaime said confidently. "These men have been with your sister, Bronn, Brienne and I since Brienne and I rescued your sister from the Vale."

Jon looked over at Brienne who nodded in agreement. "Jaime and I found out about my particular quirk when I escorted him back from Winterfell after his time as a prisoner and since then we have been using it to ensure that we surround ourselves with people only loyal to either Jaime, Tyrion, Bronn, Sansa or myself."

"We realised just before going to get your sister that mine was out to get her and anyone who stood with her and since Jaime rescued her we were all against her so she tried many things to get us out. She had a faceless man kill her son and tried to blame it on Sansa and I but that failed, she tried to turn the court against us but that too failed, she even tried to get Tommen against us but that failed as well," Tyrion informed Jon who looked at his sister and Jaime before turning back to Tyrion.

"So we are all enemies of King's landing it seems."

"Indeed we are my friend."

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Sansa moved about her old room, getting it ready as Jaime stood in the doorway watching her.

"If you aren't going to do anything you might try and help out somewhere," Sansa told him, not looking up from where she was tidying up her old desk. She had been using the room as a study but with only limited space that was liveable at the moment she gave it up so Jaime could use it.

"Well it may seem like I'm doing nothing but in fact I'm studying you wife."

Sansa turned to looked at him, staring right into his eyes, hand on her hips. "And what do you see?" she challenged him.

"You are strong there you were in King's landing, I mean you have always been strong but being here, not relying on my name to save you is making you strong, more confident in yourself."

Sansa laughed at that. "It is certainly different now it's my name that is keeping you and your brother safe."

"It is," Jaime agreed, "and now that I have you alone my I enquire why you didn't answer my letters?" he nodded towards the table, "I see that you received them but I didn't get one in control."

"Because I didn't believe you deserve a reply. We both know what I saw Jaime, I know that either Brienne or Bronn would have left you a note to fix it and that you would automatically know what I saw." Jaime opened his mouth to speak but Sansa held her hand up to stop him.

"I don't know what lead to that and I don't want to know but I can see you clearly now, you were never on my side, this was all a twisted game for you and that bitch. Was everything a lie Jaime? Every word, every touch, every kiss?"

"No," Jaime took a step forward to stop when Sansa help up her hand again. "She used me just as much as she used everyone else. She need the control and for a long time I gave it to her not realising I was doing so, then I get help prisoner from your mother and brother and then I get my hand cut off, so I go to my sister, who I found screwing around with a member of the King's guard then it all made sense. She had been screwing every member of the guard to get us under her control and she thought by saying the children were mine she would have ultimate control over me but what she didn't realise was I'm just as smart as her, I did the math and realised the children couldn't be mine because she was only with me the few times Robert was out and I made sure to slip moon water into her drink afterwards to ensure I wouldn't be a father of her children.

"I realised then she used my love for her and converted it to her sick needs. She was always jealous of me because I was male and could do what I wanted but as female she couldn't so she converted me and controlled me for years and I never realised until then, until the illusion was shattered. It was never like it was with you. That day she came in when I was getting changed and I just forgot for a moment, lost in the memories I guess but it was the first time it happened since I found out the truth about her I swear."

Sansa looked away and wiped a tear from her face. "How do I know I can trust you again Jaime? It makes me think about lots of things now, like how Bran fell at the same time Robert was out hunting and both you and your sister out of the castle." Sansa shook her head. "I'm not as stupid as your sister thinks Jaime, I can put two and two together."

"It wasn't me," Jaime swore, taking another step towards her. "He saw us and I refused to push him, I wanted to give him a potion to forget but she had other ideas, while I went to my bag she dragged him from the chair I had guided him to and shoved him. I wasn't fast enough to stop her and when I protested she threated to kill all the Starks just because he had been in the wrong spot at the wrong time and so I kept my mouth shut to protect you all."

"I know," Sansa admitted, pulling out a letter from her pile, "Rickon held onto this for Bran, with strict instructions it was to be given to me and only me."

"Then why question me?"

"Because I want to know if you would tell me the truth. I still don't trust you but I had to know from your view point what happened because if you had a hand in hurting my brother I would kill you in you sleep and not blink an eye."

Jaime looked his wife in the eye and was surprised by the cold steel in them. She meant every word.

"When you left me you took everything with you," he said slowly. "I don't care what it takes I will show you that you can trust me, that I meant everything."

Sansa looked back at him and then turned around and grabbed the last letters off her desk.

"Tyrion is in the room to the left, Rickon to the right and Jon across the hall, three doors up and I am in the room next to him," Sansa said softly as she walked around him and walked out of the room.

She waited until she was in her room, before letting a tear slide down her cheek, however it had barely reached her nose before she was shoved to the ground and kicked in the stomach.

"Take that you worthless bitch," she heard the man growl above her as he kicked away at her stomach.

"Jaime," she screamed."

Straight away she heard Jaime's door slam open and then her own before she saw the feet of the man lifted off the ground and fly across the room.

"It is too late Lannister," the man laughed as Sansa doubled over on the floor. "You bitch will lose her baby just as she wanted."

"Who is she?" Jaime roared, holding the man up against the wall.

"Your sister of course."

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 _ **Ok ok don't hate me, I need the miscarriage to move this story but I hated writing it, im sorry. So I changed what happened with Bran because I know I would never be with any one who hurt my brother let alone crippled him and I feel like Sansa would be the same. I have made it so they have been married 3 years not one and of course Joffery was killed by his mother because I believe her capable of doing that to further her own ambitions (which would have been accomplished if she had managed to get the blame placed of Sansa or Tyrion but it didn't work in my story other than to make us all hate her more) and I needed Jaime to realise on his own how bad his sister was for her and that it was an illusion she placed over him, that she used him and corrupted his love for her into something dark and wrong.**_

 _ **And in case you haven't guessed I am writing this as a full story and am in need of Beta if anyone would like to beta this story.**_

 _ **Also I promise there is a lot more to come and I think you will like it.**_

 _ **I don't own game of thrones/ a song of fire and ice (am I the only one who thinks this could describe Jon, being fire [from his father] and ice [from his mother], just a thought).**_


	5. a month and a half later

_In my memory, I was hurting, long  
before we met, oh  
in my memory, there's still burning  
fingerprints you left  
and I always meant to say  
to you I can't_

 _So just turn your face, until I  
can't see you anymore  
turn your face, until I can't see  
you anymore  
walk away until you're not standing  
at my door  
turn your face walk away and stay  
turn your face_

 _every time I take you back  
you bring one thousand cracks  
and I accept them, like a fool_

"Sansa!" Jon yelled as he raced into the room followed closely by Bronn, Brienne, Tyrion and three Stark guards.

"Take him," Jaime growled as two of the guards raced over to him and proceeded to take the man from Jaime.

"Sansa," Jaime whispered as he raced over to his wide and picked her up, a small puddle of blood already around her.

"Get the midwife!" Jaime growled at the remaining guard who took one look at the expression on Jaime's face and fled the room to do as ordered.

"What happened?" Tyrion demanded.

"Our darling sister set one of her many lovers to kill my wife and child," Jaime snarled as he placed Sansa gently on the bed.

"How did she find out?" Bronn asked.

"Sansa found out when she was with the Tully's. It wouldn't surprise me if one of them told her," Jon clenched his jaw at the thought of someone betraying his sister.

Jaime looked at the grim faces in the room then at his wife who was pale and moaning in pain.

"From this moment on we are war with Cersei Lannister and anyone who stands with her," he said grimly as everyone looked at him and nodded in agreement.

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A month and a half had passed in which Sansa was forced to stay on bedrest, somehow the baby in her belly surviving the ordeal.

Under supervision Sansa was allowed to get up and go for short walks for the past week, in which she found herself more often then not watching Jaime and whoever was off training hard.

Jaime looked over at his wife as he took a break as Jon and Bronn sparred.

While both Sansa and the baby grew strong the haunted look stayed in Sansa's eyes which scared Jaime a little. Sansa should never look like that, she was too good, too pure and now his family had scared her for life.

It comforted him to know that Sansa didn't blame him for the attack, that she souly blamed his sister, knowing that no matter who was the father Cersei would have sent someone to kill the baby as it represented a heir for Winterfell, a threat to Cersei and all she had worked for, but still he carried guilt in him that he couldn't shake.

Since deciding to go to war with Cersei people had been flooding Winterfell to help the cause but Jaime and Jon stood firm that only those they trusted could approach Sansa and if you wished to see her you must pass the test other wide they were stuck talking to Jaime and Jon.

Bronn and Brienne insisted on being the only four other people allowed to guard Sansa with only two other guards while Jaime, Jon, Tyrion and Rickon took turns to keep her company ensure that there was some one always available.

With the extra men available Jon, Jaime, Bronn and Brienne threw themselves into training with Jon and Bronn working to sharpen Rickon's swords skills as well.

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts of the past month and a half Jaime noticed Sansa making her way over to him, Rickon following behind her.

"I would like to train," she said quietly, "not with anything that might hurt the baby but I need to defiend myself."

Jaime looked at her thoughtful. "Are you sure?" Jaime asked, scanning her over, needing to reassure himself that she was ok, like he did everytime he was since the incident.

"I am," she said firmly. "If we are entering a war it's only safe to assume I'm going to be on the top of your sister's hit list and so will the baby so I need to defend myself and himor her, and the more you all get involved with this war, the more time you will be away from me."

Jaime looked over at Bronn who had stopped training to listen to the conversation, who just strugged at Jaime as to say, your wife, it's up to you.

"Are you 100 percent sure Sansa? Fighting turns you into a different person and not always for the better. You saw how it affected people at King's landing."

"I'm sure and I won't be doing anything hard. I'm sure between you all and the midwife you can thing of some basic, basic, basic moves for me and when the baby is born get into some more serious training."

Jaime nodded his head. "When the midwife ways you can you train with Brienne, under Bronn's and my supervision."

Sans nodded her head quickly, surprised Jaime agreed. She had been trying to convice hims since they got married to train her but he always refused and looking back she would see that he didn't want her turning as hard and cold as the other women at King's Landing.

"Are you sure Jaime," Jon asked coming up to him, as Sansa turned to answer a question Rickon asked her.

"No, im beyond worried but I know she won't do anything to hurt herself or the baby and I hope it will let her sleep better. Every night I hear her whimpers as she relieves what happens night after night and when I try to comfort her she can't bare to look me in the eye, to see me just as broken because I know in her nightmares she dreams I wasn't fast enough."

"It wasn't your fault," Jon said, surprising Jaime who had thought Jon held a bit of resentment towards him over what happened.

"But I was the one stupid enough to fall under that bitch's spell for so long and that caused your sister to be harmed."

"But you weren't the only one to fall under it."

"But that doesn't stop me from blaming myself," Jaime shook his head. "All those years I made sure she wouldn't carry my child, that I was true to my vow that I would father no children and now that I am finally free to have children of my own she tries to take it away from me."

Jon looked at him in surprise. "I thought you wouldn't have cared less if someone bore you children so longs as they weren't acknowledged as yours."

Jaime shook his head. "I know it doesn't seem like that but I have always tried to stay true to vows I have made, it's why I go out of my way to make as few as possible and it takes a lot to happen to break one." Jaime looked at Jon then who nodded and looked over at his sister.

"I don't want her to crack under all of this, I want her to get through this," Jon confessed.

"She is strong, in fact I would consider her the one most likely to survive all this."

"Would you care if she survived this and you didn't?"

"As long as she is alive and well I couldn't care what happened to me."

Jon nodded his head in approval. "I still can't stand you but I know you love my sister so try and win her back if you can but if you hurt her again I will run you through with my sword."

"If I ever hurt her again I will stand there and let you."

Sansa made her way over to them then.

"Rickon would like to know if he can train with you while I sit and watch?" Sansa asked Jon.

"Of course and Jaime can sit and keep you company," Jon walked over to their brother before Sansa could answer.

Looking over at her Jaime nodded his head over to the sunniest corner of the yard.

"How are you sleeping?" Sansa asked Jaime as they sat down, both studying each other out of the corner of their eyes.

"As good as can be epected."

Sansa started to fiddle with her dress. "If you like you can come sleep back in my room."

Jaime turned to stare at her in shock.

"I'm not saying I'm over this and that I'm not still upset but I do miss you," she said quietly, "and when you stay with me until I'm asleep the memories of the incident, of both incident's really, they don't come and visit as often in my dream."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable Sansa."

"I will be fine," she laid her hand on her stomach and smiled. "I'm sure this little one would like their father closer at night."

Jaime tenderly placed his hand on her stomach. "You and this child mean the world to me, this is something I never thought I would have for myself and now that I have it, that I have _**you**_ I won't let anyone take that from me, including me."

"I know and I will try Jaime but it's hard to face all that history between you."

"It's not history it was her manipulating me but I know better now, thanks to you."

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 _ **Ok so Cookie. Monster 67 – Jaime is still quite indifferent to other people but I could not write a Sansa and Jaime story with Jaime hurting Bran like that I just couldn't so I decided to make it that Jaime thought it better to drug him to make him forget because even Jaime can understand children are innocents and don't need to be harmed so it turned out for a way to make Cersei even that more cruel. In regards to her kill her children in this cannon I really need Cersei to have no redeeming qualities at all, I need her to be the Voldemort of this story. I will have some flash backs to when they got married and what happened to Sansa when she was at King's Landing and Jaime was held captive by her brother.**_


	6. cersei

Cersei glared out the window as her father entered her room.

"This is out of control, you need to fix this. Find someone to blame for the attempt on Sansa's baby and apologize for being such a bitch," he told his daughter coldly, sitting down in the arm chair next to her.

"Why should I have to fix this?" she hissed. "Jaime is that one who screwed this all up by following his blasted vow to Catelyn Stark."

"Because as I know you are aware you are the one who caused your brother to question this family. If I had known what you two were getting up to I would have ensured you were separated so much more early in life and kept separated but I can't change that now but because of your unnatural relationship with your brother we have lost him so now I can make sure you suffer for it daughter," Tywin looked over at her bored, "you will fix this because a Lannister against Stark war is not one we will win."

"She is a girl, she can't win against me."

"But she isn't just a girl, you underestimated her just as she wanted you to. She is a Stark, through and though and she had both of your brothers in her corner and who do you have? No one. They are all leaving to join her."

"That is hardly my fault. How was I meant to be upset about that little bastard dying and gain sympathy?"

"You did well until it was proved by Jaime that neither Sansa nor Tyrion could have done it."

Cersei stood up and went to pour herself a drink. "I would have had people on my side if we just admitted I lost by first born and second born, instead of replacing my second boy with one of Robert's bastards."

"No we need to tie Robert down."

Cersei slammed her goblet down on the table, spilling the wine over the table. "I would have with shared loss, we had already bonded so much over our first born."

Tywin shrugged. "What's done is done."

"And I have fixed that problem as to who was to really blame, one of Joffrey's little whores took the blame and is now dead, as we speak the news spreads through the castle so everyone thinks that I have been too concerned over revenge for my son to think about my brother and his wife."

"Yes but you never have let anyone forget your hatred for the girl."

"We all hate someone."

"Yes but it is well known what happens to people you hate."

"Yes it is well known but by going after this whore it shows my attention is still only on my son and tomorrow after it's announced we found his killer I will spend the next three days in church while you deal with this war."

Tywin raised his eyebrow then. "And why should I?"

Cersei smiled grimly. "Because if it's not sorted by then, I will prepare for war, no matter what side my brothers are on."


	7. Sansa's and Jaimie's wedding

If I could, I would

Do it again

I'd do it again

I wouldn't change a thing

We have love, and lose love

And do it again, we do it again

But that's how we are

We come back just to throw it all away

Tell me it's over

So we can do it all again

Im addicted to this elevator love

Tell me you miss me

And I will come back for one more day

I'm addicted to this elevator love

We laugh, we cry

And do it again

Do it again

We to hell and back

But there is something about you

I can't just keep away

Just can't keep way

We know we'll crash down (and we crash

And we crash and we)

But I wouldn't want it any other way

(chrous)

Over and over and over we fall

We go up to come down, just to turn it all

Around

And face it all again

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Sansa sat on the bench watching Bronn put Rickon through his paces as Jon came to sit down with her.

"You know there is one thing you never told me about you and Jaime," he said quietly, watching Rickon and Bronn as well.

"What would you like to know?" Sansa asked quietly.

"What happened to cause the two of you to be married? I mean one second Jaime was Robb's prisoner and you were engaged to Joffrey then next thing I know is you two are married."

Sansa looked over at Jaime who was on the other side of the training area before turning her gaze back on her younger brother.

"Well once Jaime was captured Joffrey turned cruel towards me, I won't go into detail but it was bad, really bad. Soon enough he decided that I wasn't good enough to be his wife so he started to look for a new one while his mother tried to set me up with Tyrion but he refused to go with it so I was stuck being Cersei's little errand girl until they found a suitable match. One night a riot started and I got out but I was held at the Vale by Littlefinger who wanted me to be his mistress because since he couldn't have my mother I would do fine in her place. He tried every night but he couldn't get me because I made sure never to be in my rooms at night and he couldn't very well ask me during the day as I ensured we were never alone. During this time Tyrion tried to get Jaime out of jail but it never worked, instead mother released him with the condition he got Aria and I home and sent Brienne with him to ensure it happened. On the way back to King's Landing he lost his hand and almost die but some how he got back and discovered the truth about his family. Tyrion and he had a few in depth chats over the next fortnight, discussing how to get me out of the Vale.

"See Cersei and Littlefinger were close and Cersei allowed me to escape so he could 'rescue' me but really I was his reward for being a good little minion. Tyrion found out the day Jaime came back and once he heard why Jaime was release he immediately started to help Jaime plan how to get me out of there as we had striked up an unlikely friendship during my time at King's Landing.

"Jaime and Brienne came to rescue me only to find me on the road, having escaped along with Alyson and Elizabeth, who had somehow ended up there as well. We started to travel but one night Jaime and Brienne were discussing how to best keep me safe because at the time they couldn't return me to Winterfell, they had just learnt what had happened to Robb from one of their spies but at the time I just knew it was too unsafe to go home. Brienne then had the idea that by marrying one another Jaime's name could keep me safer than anything else because who would care mess with a Lannister?"

"And she was right for a time until my sister killed Joffery," Jaime continued, coming up beside them without either noticing.

"Sansa and I fought it," Jaime said continuing the story when Sansa nodded her head that he could in answer to his raised eyebrow. "We did not want to be married but soon Sansa's friends joined Brienne's side, having understood what was happening a lot more then Sansa did at the time who had been kept rather sheltered at the Vale. It took a week but eventually we agreed. We waited another week so Sansa could make herself a wedding dress."

"I figured it would be my only wedding and since I could not have my family there with me I at least deserved a nice dress," Sansa defended herself quickly while Jaime smiled at her.

"And I agreed, the day after we both finally agreed we had stopped in on small town and they had a shop where I saw a dark grey cloth which I brought for her. I wanted her to have little bit of her family with her."

"It was the first time I had ever thought a Lannister as kind, aside from your brother of course," Sansa smiled fondly at the memory of Jaime handing her the material for her wedding dress. "Alyson and Elizabeth helped me and we used gold thread as a nod towards Jaime."

"She looked beautiful but it was still wasn't what either of us thought it would be as our wedding, especially as I was still bitter over my family and my hand and Sansa was still recovering from the ordeals she had thrusted upon her.

"We waited a month before returning to King's Landing, ensuring Tyrion's and my own men told everyone that Littlefinger had been looking after Sansa for me as I had fallen in love with her and her with me but Joffrey stood in the way but after cooling his temper he was the merciful King and released Sansa from her engagement with him and sent her to Littlefinger who would look after her until I returned for her."

"I still don't know how they spread that rumour when that wasn't the plan when you left."

Jaime smirked. "Turns out that was Tyrion's and Brienne's plan from the start."

Jon looked at them. "You did a good job until the end protecting my sister."

Jaime turned to glare at him then. "That had been talked about between you sister and I," he growled.

"Yes but as her eldest living relative it's my job to protect her now that I've been reunited with her which means until I'm satisfied that you deserve her I'm going to give you hell."

"I'll never deserve your sister, I never have but I damn sure will try to deserve her."

"See that you do," reaching over on squeezed Sansa's hand and walked over to Rickon and Bronn as Jaime took his vacant seat.

"At the time I never thought you and I would have ended up in love, especially after those fights we had at the beginning when we were first getting use to one another," Sansa smiled, looking at Jaime from the corner of her eye.

Jaime nodded his head in agreement. "But I'm glad we did. You know even after fighting I still couldn't make myself leave you, I was always willing to risk another fight because I found being near you, even when you were angry at me soothing."

"I did notice that and when you did leave I found myself missing your presence. After those first few months we started to get use to one another."

"Yes but it took me fourteen months after that to realise I was in love with you only to blurt it out in a fight a few hours later."

Sansa looked over at him then. "Before I left you were distant, why?"

Jaime scratched his cheek nervously. "I was ashamed to think you had found out about me and Cersei, being in a relationship with you made me realise how wrong ours was and I wanted to make it up to you so I was planning to go to Casterly Rock to get you away."

Sansa nervously took his hand. "I know it most likely won't happen for a long time but thank you for caring enough to try to get me away. I know you tried a few times but your father and sister would never allow it."

Jaime smirked. "That's why they hadn't known that week. We were just going to leave with some guards and Tyrion was going to tell father and sister and then meet up with us a few days after with the rest of the men."

"Despite feeling like we have gone to hell and back I wouldn't have done it any other way, marrying you was the smartest thing I have ever done," Jaime said after a few minutes of silence.

Sansa smiled. "Dispute how hurt I still feel I actually agree."

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 ** _i am looking for a beta for this story_**


	8. Unbreakable

How dare you say that my behaviour's unacceptable

So condeccending, unnecessarily critical

I have the tendacny of getting very physical

So watch you step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here

This double visision I was seeing is finally clear

You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone

Not fit to tread the ground that I am walking on

When it get's cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster

That lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting

Harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting

Harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head

You should know better you never listened

To a word I have said

Things had reached a stand still. Cersei made no more attacks through she tried and failed to get spies into Winterfell while Jaime and Tyrion carefully vented after Brienne said they were loyal to Sansa, however the peace didn't last long.

Jaime and Sansa made their way to Sansa's room, Jaime had insisted after the attack he would escort her to her room every night and that he, Jon, Brienne and Bronn would stand guard outside her door every night. Despite her arguments on the matter Jaime stood firm with Jon, Tryion, Brienne, Rickon and Bronn all backing him, though of course Jaime was the only one to be in her room at night, the rest standing in the hall way, only coming to wake Jaime for his shift, which was always the last shift of the night.

On this particular night they found Jaime's father standing in Sansa's room.

"What do you want?" Jaime growled, pushing Sansa behind him as his hand dropped to his sword.

Sansa tapped in his back twice to signal Bronn, Jon and Tyrion who followed them up were at the very end of the corridor.

"That's no way to greet your father," Tywin scolded.

"You're not my father since you sided with that bitch that tried to kill my wife and tried to cover it up."

"I'm trying to keep this family strong, which is more than you or your brother or you wife and her family can say."

Jaime's hand that was pushing holding Sansa's behind him twitched.

"Please, for once let's not lie to each other. You are choosing the child you love and have use for over the two sons that have always disappointed you, one by joining the Kingsguard and the other by being born a dwalf.

"You have never had much use for us but the idea you portray to everyone matters and this is all it's about. Well I'm not your puppet anymore. I'm staying with my wife and her family and declaring war on _your_ daughter and all those who side with her."

"Even me?"

"Especially you."

"I'm your father, how could you turn against me?"

"I was your child, how could you turn my siblings against me and how could you turn me on them?"

"It was for your own good."

Jaime's jaw twitched and Sansa rubbed circles into his back to keep him from attacking his father, tapping on his back once to signal reinforcement was half way down the corridor.

At this point Jon and Bronn had pulled out their swords, working their way slowly down to them, Tyrion a few steps behind them.

"You will never win. Not against both your sister and myself. You have never been much for strategy"

"No but you underestimate who I have on my side."

Tywin scoffed. "Please Ned Stark's barstard is good for nothing but guarding the wall and he couldn't even do that. Your bastard brother is only good for drinking and Bronn is so old I'm surprised he can even hold the sword the great bumbling idiot. Your wife and Brienne are only good for spreading their legs and I can see your wife has with how swollen her belly is. Really I can't believe you allow her to walk around in this state, have you no shame?"

Sansa had no time to react before Jaime was across the room, shoving Tywin against the wall, a dagger at his throat, breathing heavily.

"Jaime, love, don't kill him," Sansa said softly.

"Don't you dare speak about my wife and my family like that," Jaime hissed, his whole body shaking in anger. "I will kill you and not even blink an eye."

"And have yourself call kinslayer, I think not," Tywin said, sounding smug even in his current position.

"I've been called worse things."

"Your reinforcements are slow. It's a good thing I hadn't been trying to kill your lovely wife otherwise-" Tywin couldn't finish the sentence as Jaime had knocked him out cold.

Jon and Bronn stood in the doorway, Sansa between them

"I see father has finally made it to the party," Tyrion said dryly as he walked into the room.

"He needs to be sent back to Cersei," Jaime growled. "I don't want him anywhere near Sansa."

"But won't he be more valuable here as a hostage?" Jon asked.

"I don't want him near Sansa," Jaime growled as Tyrion chuckled.

"He's only value is being the bitch's father and his mind which is not like it was during the war," Tyrion smirked. "He's been neglectful, too prideful to ever think he would fall from grace and he forgets the men are loyal to Jaime, who they have fought with, shed blood with, not him and Jaime is Lord of Casterly Rock and it can't be changed now, not in a time of war so we get all the Lannister money. Cersei will have to marry to get money and let's face it who will marry her knowing it would make an enemy of Jaime?"

"But your father and Cersei still are powerful enough to get a marriage alliance for her and for him even if need be," Bronn pointed out.

"They are but I would bet many families will be wary, waiting to see what way the wind blows before making any alliances. For all they know this could blow over," Sansa said softly.

Tyrion walked over to his father and looked down at him. "I always told father to listen to Jaime, that Jaime had more to offer but he put Jaime in a box and refused to listen to what he said unless Cersei backed him up and now look at the predicament it's left him in."

Sansa made her way over to her brother-in-law and took hold of his hand.

"It's he's fault he couldn't see you or Jaime, that he cut you down being so condescending and unnecessarily critical of everything you two did and that he made Jaime go along with that lie about your love to save your life but he can't win now. I won't let him. WE won't let him," Sansa looked at the faces in the room.

"We will make this right. We will fight and we will take back Seven Kingdoms. We will have order again and we will have peace."

All the men looked at her then, nodding their heads in agreement.

"Send him back to _her_ Jaime and forget the words he spoke, they can't hurt us anymore Jaime," she said, approaching her husband and placing her hand on his cheek, making him look her in the eye.

"He can't say that about you Sansa or about any of them," Jaime growled.

"By letting what he said get to you he wins Jaime so don't let him win. You and I both know nothing he said is true, _nothing_."

"He knew about the attempt on your life, hell he taunted us with how easy it could be to do it again."

"Then we have more guards patrolling, more checks of the rooms, more checks of every crack in this place. We know every person here is loyal to one of us so we need to check the cracks Jaime, things you have over looked but your sister and father wouldn't have."

Jaime looked at her thoughtfully and nodded, taking a step back as Jon and Bronn moved over to tie Tywin up.

Jaime, Sansa and Tyrion stood to the side as they tied him up but the moment was enough to wake him, his eyes opening as Bronn pulled the last knot tight. It took Tywin a few moments to realise what was happening but when he did a look of fury came over his face.

"You and your whore will pay," Tywin snarled, before spitting in Sansa's direction.

Sansa put her hand on Jaime's arm to hold him back before drawing the dagger she wore on her belt and knelt before Tywin, staring at him before slapping him and pressing her dagger on the side of the neck Jaime didn't have his dagger on before.

"I am a Stark of Winterfell and I need no one to fight my battles," she said, her voice as cold as ice. "You and the whore better remember that when we march we will not take prisoners."

A flicker of fear went through his eyes before pushed it aside. "We have nothing to fear from you, you little whore," he said, going to spit again but Jon kicked him and every one head the crack as he broke some ribs.

Sansa stood and held her hand out for Jaime who moved to stand by her side.

"You will soon and you will see that this wolf can fight too and you will be praying for a miracle." She lent closer to him. "You had your miracle in that Jaime and Tyrion turned out to be good human beings while you and the whore aren't even worth to stand in the same room as the rest of us. You will wish none of us actually came so see you for who you truly are. You should have known Jaime would fight for his family, he fought my father to get Tyrion back and Tyrion is just as loyal to Jaime. Jon, Rickon and I are just as loyal to each other, Brienne and Bronn that loyal as well and all seven of us will fight to the death for each other. You have made us band together and you made us unbreakable."

"Cersei already broke you and Jaime up once, she can do it again."

Sansa stood to her full high and put her arm around Jaime's waist.

"She only succeeded in making us stronger. Whatever you have planned it won't work."

"So it doesn't bother you she fucked her brother?" Tywin smirked.

"As you can see," she gestured to her stomach, "it's in the past and I have Jaime's future in my womb. He loves me and I love him and love is something we can give him that he never got from either of you. Try to break us but you will soon realise you have no control of me or Jaime or any of us and we will not give up, we will not break so try Tywin, try to break us because it won't work."

With that Sansa turned from the room, Jaime behind her.


End file.
